Survival Stew

Ingredients

• Onions
• Garlic
• Potatoes
• Carrots
• Beans
• Lentils
• Whatever else is edible

Instructions

1. Gather all the sad, lonely vegetables from your fridge.
2. Chop them into bite-sized pieces.
3. Heat Oil in a large pot.
4. Add onions and garlic, sauté until they start to cry (about 5 minutes).
5. Add potatoes, carrots, and any other vegetables you found.
6. Stir in beans and lentils.
7. If you have any spices, throw them in too (if not, just use your tears).
8. Add water to cover ingredients.
9. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.
10. Stir occasionally while contemplating life choices.
11. Boil until your soul softens (approximately 30 minutes).
12. Serve hot with the knowledge that you survived another day, or with bread.
13. Eat while staring into the abyss of your existence.
14. Enjoy the taste of survival.